I thought about trying to do this up in a fancy font and maybe even add some kind of illustration, but I'm not any good at that stuff, so I'll leave it to someone else who wants to play around with it.
To parody the credit card commercial:Review swap from fellow author? Free5-star review on Goodreads? $5Review and "Verified purchase" on Amazon? $10Honest review from a genuine reader? PricelessYou can buy all the good reviews you want; you can't buy good readers.They aren't for sale at any price.