I admit I was initially drawn to look at this book by the discussion floating around about the author's, ah, intemperate postings. The description of the story -- great tragedy, ruined lives, what happens 30 years on -- seemed interesting, however, and so I took a look at the sample. And since the author has blocked me from posting on his GR blog, the only place I have to comment is here.
The writing in The Necro Device
is, as others have said, amateurish, immature, ponderous with unnecessary and oft-repeated adjectives. "Homemade" appears three times in the first three paragraphs; "delicious" and "leathery" each twice. I don't think there is a single unmodified noun. All protestations of editing by family, friends, English professors, etc., not withstanding, this book is very poorly written. It shows right from the start.
If the author can't afford to pay a professional editor, then he needs to learn the rules of writing himself and apply them so his readers can read his story.
When he puts his book out for sale
he must remember that he is no longer writing for himself. He is now obligated to meet the reader's expectations, or face the consequences.
This is not a matter of a few errors sneaking past all the editing and proofreading; this is a product riddled with mistakes on virtually every page. When an author brags about the quality of his work, he needs to deliver. M.T. Dismuke bragged, but never delivered.
I slogged through the beginning but couldn't force myself to read any more. I didn't care how long it took the author to write the story or how hard he worked to revise and rewrite and edit. All I cared about was the final product, the book I was going to give my
time to. Unfortunately, after a chapter or two, I didn't care enough to go further.