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Linda Hilton

Reader, Writer, Merciless Reviewer and Incurable Romantic


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Currently reading

The Summer Tree
Guy Gavriel Kay
Progress: 10/383 pages
Democracy in Chains: The Deep History of the Radical Right's Stealth Plan for America
Nancy MacLean
Progress: 134/574 pages
The Secular Scripture: A Study of the Structure of Romance
Northrop Frye
Progress: 43/200 pages
All the President's Men
Carl Bernstein, Bob Woodward
Progress: 73/383 pages
Women's Gothic and Romantic Fiction: A Reference Guide (American Popular Culture)
Kay Mussell
Progress: 17/157 pages
The Looking-Glass Portrait
Linda Hilton
Really Neat Rocks: A casual introduction to the rocks & gems of Arizona and the lapidary arts
Linda Hilton
Progress: 61/61 pages
Under the Banner of Heaven: A Story of Violent Faith
Jon Krakauer
The House of the Spirits
Isabel Allende

16 Tasks of the Festive Season - Square #9 - Winter Solstice

Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype - Clarissa Pinkola Est├ęs

I am completely lost.  This may have something to do with waking up at 2:15 a.m. after barely three hours' sleep.  I tried for almost four additional hours to go back to sleep, but it didn't work, so here I am trying to sort through my notes to bring my Festive Season activities up to date.


For Square #9, a task for the Winter Solstice is to ask a question, then open a book to page 40, line 9. 


My question was broad and vague, but it is also the reason I have lost so much sleep lately:  How am I going to get through the next year, financially as well as mentally?


I pondered and pondered which book to pick and finally, after taking the dogs outside, settled on Women Who Run with the Wolves.  I bought the book when it was first published in 1992 -- it even says "First Edition" whoo hoo! -- and have read most of it in segments, but have never sat down and read the whole thing through first page to last.


Page 40, line 9, is the middle of a thought:


". . .severs the woman from her intuitive nature.  When its cutting work is done . . . "


The passage refers to patriarchal control of women, in particular the "predatory potentate" archetype who does the cutting that severs the woman from her intuitive nature.  Gee, is that relevant to this particular Solstice, or what?


I've felt for most of the past 20 years or so that I've been cut off from my "intuitive nature," and the past dozen years or so that I've been in little more than survival mode.  Last year, 2016, was the first time I felt more at ease emotionally than I have in a long time, and I know very well that the reason for that was my writing.  After writing and publishing The Looking-Glass Portrait, I tried to get into another writing project right away, but too many external factors kept intruding.  Those external factors dominated my 2017 attempts to write, as well as virtually everything else.


Whatever I do to address these issues in 2018, I'm going to try my best not to be cut off from the person I really am.  I can't be someone else, and especially not for someone else.  I have to be me, for me.