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LindaHilton

Linda Hilton

Reader, Writer, Merciless Reviewer and Incurable Romantic

Currently reading

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Reading progress update: I've read 36%.

Rose Hill - Pamela Grandstaff

Yep, it's sliding down from two stars.

 

Page 88 is a perfect example of how the poor writing detracts from this.

 

“Then what happened?”

“He hit Phyllis in the face, and she fell down.”

“And then?”

“He yelled at her again and left.”

“What did he yell?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Which way did he go?”

“Down the alley.”

“Then what happened?”

“Phyllis got up and went in the house.”

“Where was Billy?”

Tommy shrugged.

“Did you hear Billy come home afterward?” he asked.

Tommy shook his head.

“So what did you do?”

“I went back to sleep.”

Grandstaff, Pamela. Rose Hill (Rose Hill Mystery Series Book 1) (pp. 88-89). Kindle Edition.

 

This is the local small-town chief of police interviewing a 12-year-old boy who witnessed some of the events leading up to the murder.  Tommy is economically disadvantaged, lives in a trailer park, is afraid of being accused of talking when he shouldn't have.  For me this should have been a well-developed scene with lots of emotion and description and stage directions.  Instead it's just a bunch of short lines of dialogue that get to the point but leave out all the flavor.

 

Some readers may prefer it this way.  It's not that it's the wrong way to write a small town semi-cozy mystery, but it's not the way I like a mystery.

 

There are lots of other problems with this book.  The snotty character from New York who gets everyone's names wrong is just another eye-rolling cliché.

 

It's pretty much deteriorated to 1.5 stars at this point.